Learning From Your RegretslEARNING fROM YOUR rEGRETS“If only I had kno Tradução - Learning From Your RegretslEARNING fROM YOUR rEGRETS“If only I had kno Português como dizer

Learning From Your RegretslEARNING

Learning From Your Regrets


lEARNING fROM YOUR rEGRETS
“If only I had known then what I know now.” How often I hear that phrase replayed by
those who dwell on missed opportunities and regrets.
Jane regrets dropping out of college to get married. “I wish I had had a better education and
had made something of myself. Now that my kids are older, I’m bored. I would’ve liked to have an
important career, but it’s too late now,” she laments.
Rick regrets taking the easy way out. “I entered my dad’s business right after college.
Financially, I’ve got no complaints. But I have a hard time shaking off the feeling that I would
have become someone special if only I had had the courage to go out on my own back then.”
Regrets like these can become a constant reminder of “what could have been”. But it
doesn’t have to be that way. Regrets can also enlighten and be an incentive for new
opportunity. Here’s how that might happen:
Conquer your negative emotions. People often imagine that they would have done
things differently if they had known better. Yet, the decisive factor in their
decision-making is often an emotional one, not a lack of information. Jane could still get
her college degree, if she weren’t afraid that the commitment would be too much for her.
As she reflects on her past, she recognizes that feeling overwhelmed was the same reason
she dropped out of school years ago. If Jane is to learn from her regrets, she needs to deal
with her fears in a different manner this time.
Use your regrets to motivate yourself to take a different action. Rick can motivate
himself to do something different now, instead of simply regretting his long ago decision.
Perhaps, he could move the business in a new direction, start a second career, or blaze a
creative trail in a completely different field. Ruing your regrets is a passive approach to life;
using your regrets to make a better life for yourself is a positive and active approach.
Anticipate future regrets before you make major decisions. If Jane does decide to
return to college, it would be helpful for her to anticipate what might make her regret this
decision too. If her goal is to have a thriving career, she should choose an appropriate
program. Simply taking the easiest courses (which would be her typical pattern) would
likely result in her regretting her decision once again.
Use regrets to learn more about what’s important to you. Rick imagines that he
might have become a musician if he hadn’t gone into his dad’s business. But he conveniently
ignores how music might play a role in his life now. Too often people assume that it’s too late
in life to make any changes. Not true, unless you get entrenched in the position that: it
should have been a certain way then so there’s nothing you can do about it now.
Many people regret decisions they’ve made or opportunities they’ve lost. But only a few
make those ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas’ work for them. You can be one of those people! It’s
never too late to use your regrets as a catalyst for revamping your life.
“Make your ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas’ work ffor them. You can be one of those people! It’s
never too late to use your regrets as a catalyst for revamping your life.
“Make your ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas’ work for you.”
Copyright 2006: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who specializes in helping individuals, families and couples overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior











c. The author posts new texts every
( ) week.
( ) month.
d. The author writes texts to
( ) teenagers only.
( ) people in general



an article.
( ) a letter of advice
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Learning From Your RegretslEARNING fROM YOUR rEGRETS“If only I had known then what I know now.” How often I hear that phrase replayed bythose who dwell on missed opportunities and regrets.Jane regrets dropping out of college to get married. “I wish I had had a better education andhad made something of myself. Now that my kids are older, I’m bored. I would’ve liked to have animportant career, but it’s too late now,” she laments.Rick regrets taking the easy way out. “I entered my dad’s business right after college.Financially, I’ve got no complaints. But I have a hard time shaking off the feeling that I wouldhave become someone special if only I had had the courage to go out on my own back then.”Regrets like these can become a constant reminder of “what could have been”. But itdoesn’t have to be that way. Regrets can also enlighten and be an incentive for newopportunity. Here’s how that might happen:Conquer your negative emotions. People often imagine that they would have donethings differently if they had known better. Yet, the decisive factor in theirdecision-making is often an emotional one, not a lack of information. Jane could still gether college degree, if she weren’t afraid that the commitment would be too much for her.As she reflects on her past, she recognizes that feeling overwhelmed was the same reasonshe dropped out of school years ago. If Jane is to learn from her regrets, she needs to dealwith her fears in a different manner this time.Use your regrets to motivate yourself to take a different action. Rick can motivatehimself to do something different now, instead of simply regretting his long ago decision.Perhaps, he could move the business in a new direction, start a second career, or blaze acreative trail in a completely different field. Ruing your regrets is a passive approach to life;using your regrets to make a better life for yourself is a positive and active approach.Anticipate future regrets before you make major decisions. If Jane does decide toreturn to college, it would be helpful for her to anticipate what might make her regret thisdecision too. If her goal is to have a thriving career, she should choose an appropriateprogram. Simply taking the easiest courses (which would be her typical pattern) wouldlikely result in her regretting her decision once again.Use regrets to learn more about what’s important to you. Rick imagines that hemight have become a musician if he hadn’t gone into his dad’s business. But he convenientlyignores how music might play a role in his life now. Too often people assume that it’s too latein life to make any changes. Not true, unless you get entrenched in the position that: itshould have been a certain way then so there’s nothing you can do about it now.Many people regret decisions they’ve made or opportunities they’ve lost. But only a fewmake those ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas’ work for them. You can be one of those people! It’snever too late to use your regrets as a catalyst for revamping your life.“Make your ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas’ work ffor them. You can be one of those people! It’snever too late to use your regrets as a catalyst for revamping your life.“Make your ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas’ work for you.”Copyright 2006: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who specializes in helping individuals, families and couples overcome self-defeating patterns of behaviorc. The author posts new texts every( ) week.( ) month.d. The author writes texts to( ) teenagers only.( ) people in generalan article.( ) a letter of advice
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Aprender com seus arrependimentosAprender com seus arrependimentos"Se EU soubesse o que SEI hoje." quantas vezes EU ouvi essa frase reproduzida peloAqueles que habitam sobre Oportunidades perdidas e arrependimentos.Jane lamenta abandonar a Faculdade para se Casar."EU gostaria de ter Tido UMA educação Melhor eTinha feito algo de MIM.Agora que OS MEUS filhos Mais velhos, estou aborrecido.EU teria gostado de ter umImportante carreira, MAS Agora é tarde ", lamenta.Rick lamenta a Tomar o Caminho Mais fácil."EU entrei no negócio do MEU Pai depois Da Faculdade.Financeiramente, EU não tenho queixas.MAS tenho dificuldade EM tirar a sensação de que EU IriaSe alguém especial se EU tivesse Tido a coragem de sair sozinha! "Lamenta Como estas podem se tornar um lembrete constante do que poderia ter SIDO ".MASNão TEM de ser assim.Lamenta também Pode esclarecer e ser um incentivo para novosOportunidade.Aqui está Como isso Pode acontecer:Conquistar SUAS emoções negativas.Muitas vezes as pessoas imaginar que eles teriam feitoAs coisas de maneira diferente se tivessem conhecido Melhor.Ainda, O fator decisivo Na SUAA Tomada de decisões, muitas vezes, é emocional, não é Falta de informação.Jane ainda se podiaSEU Diploma universitário, Se ELA não estava com meDo de que o compromisso seria DEMAIS para ELA.Como ELA reflete sobre SEU passado, ELA reconhece que o sentimento Oprimido PELA mesma razãoELA saiu Da escola há Anos.Se a Jane é Aprender com ELA, lamenta - se, ELA Precisa lidarCOM seus MEDOS de forma diferente Desta vez.Use seus arrependimentos para motivar - se para Tomar UMA ação diferente.Rick Pode motivarMesmo para fazer algo diferente, Ao invés de Simplesmente lamentar SUA decisão, há Muito tempo.Talvez, ele Pode levar o negócio EM UMA Nova direção, começar UMA segunda carreira, ou abrir umCriativa trilha num Campo completamente diferente.Terão seus arrependimentos é UMA abordagem passiva para a vida;Usando seus arrependimentos para Dar UMA Vida Melhor para Si é UMA abordagem positiva e Activa.Antecipar futuros arrependimentos antes de Tomar decisões importantes.Se a Jane decideVoltar para a Faculdade, seria útil para antecipar o que Pode fazê - La se arrependerA decisão também.Se o objetivo é ter UMA próspera carreira, ELA deveria escolher um apropriadoO programa.Simplesmente a Mais fácil (que seria o típico Cursos padrão)Resultado provável a lamentar SUA decisão, Mais UMA vez.Use lamenta para Aprender Mais sobre o que é importante para você.Rick, imagina que elePode ter se tornado um músico, Se não tivesse Ido para o Pai do negócio.MAS ele convenientementeIgnora Como música Pode desempenhar um Papel Na SUA Vida Agora.Muitas vezes as pessoas presumem que é tarde DEMAISNa Vida para fazer alterações.Não é Verdade, a Menos que se entrincheirado Na posição EM que:Deve ter SIDO UMA certa maneira então não há Nada que você possa fazer Agora.Muitas pessoas lamentam as decisões que fizeram Ou Oportunidades que perderam.MAS só algunsFazer OS shouldas fazer, poder, trabalho para eles.Você Pode ser UMA dessas pessoas!ÉNunca é tarde para USAR o arrependimento Como um catalisador para renovar a SUA Vida."O não fazer, poder, trabalho shouldas ffor.Você Pode ser UMA dessas pessoas!ÉNunca é tarde para USAR o arrependimento Como um catalisador para renovar a SUA Vida."O não fazer, poder, shouldas é trabalhar para você".Copyright 2006: Linda sapadin, Ph.D. é um psicólogo EM clínica Privada, que é especializada EM ajudar indivíduos, famílias e casais a superar OS padrões de Comportamento autodestrutivoC. o autor lança novos textos todos(a) Semana.(a) mês.D. o autor escreve textos para() Adolescentes.() as pessoas EM geralUm artigo.() UMA Carta de conselhos
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