Learning From Your RegretslEARNING

Learning From Your Regrets


lEARNING fROM YOUR rEGRETS
“If only I had known then what I know now.” How often I hear that phrase replayed by
those who dwell on missed opportunities and regrets.
Jane regrets dropping out of college to get married. “I wish I had had a better education and
had made something of myself. Now that my kids are older, I’m bored. I would’ve liked to have an
important career, but it’s too late now,” she laments.
Rick regrets taking the easy way out. “I entered my dad’s business right after college.
Financially, I’ve got no complaints. But I have a hard time shaking off the feeling that I would
have become someone special if only I had had the courage to go out on my own back then.”
Regrets like these can become a constant reminder of “what could have been”. But it
doesn’t have to be that way. Regrets can also enlighten and be an incentive for new
opportunity. Here’s how that might happen:
Conquer your negative emotions. People often imagine that they would have done
things differently if they had known better. Yet, the decisive factor in their
decision-making is often an emotional one, not a lack of information. Jane could still get
her college degree, if she weren’t afraid that the commitment would be too much for her.
As she reflects on her past, she recognizes that feeling overwhelmed was the same reason
she dropped out of school years ago. If Jane is to learn from her regrets, she needs to deal
with her fears in a different manner this time.
Use your regrets to motivate yourself to take a different action. Rick can motivate
himself to do something different now, instead of simply regretting his long ago decision.
Perhaps, he could move the business in a new direction, start a second career, or blaze a
creative trail in a completely different field. Ruing your regrets is a passive approach to life;
using your regrets to make a better life for yourself is a positive and active approach.
Anticipate future regrets before you make major decisions. If Jane does decide to
return to college, it would be helpful for her to anticipate what might make her regret this
decision too. If her goal is to have a thriving career, she should choose an appropriate
program. Simply taking the easiest courses (which would be her typical pattern) would
likely result in her regretting her decision once again.
Use regrets to learn more about what’s important to you. Rick imagines that he
might have become a musician if he hadn’t gone into his dad’s business. But he conveniently
ignores how music might play a role in his life now. Too often people assume that it’s too late
in life to make any changes. Not true, unless you get entrenched in the position that: it
should have been a certain way then so there’s nothing you can do about it now.
Many people regret decisions they’ve made or opportunities they’ve lost. But only a few
make those ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas’ work for them. You can be one of those people! It’s
never too late to use your regrets as a catalyst for revamping your life.
“Make your ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas’ work ffor them. You can be one of those people! It’s
never too late to use your regrets as a catalyst for revamping your life.
“Make your ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas’ work for you.”
Copyright 2006: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who specializes in helping individuals, families and couples overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior











c. The author posts new texts every
( ) week.
( ) month.
d. The author writes texts to
( ) teenagers only.
( ) people in general



an article.
( ) a letter of advice

Resultados (Português) 1:

Aprendendo com seus arrependimentosAprendendo com SEUS arrependimentos"Se ao menos eu soubesse o que sei agora." Quantas vezes ouvi essa frase reproduzidos peloos que habitam sobre oportunidades perdidas e arrependimentos.Jane lamenta que largar a faculdade para se casar. "Quem me dera ter tido uma educação melhor etinha feito algo de mim. Agora que meus filhos são mais velhos, eu estou entediado. Eu gostaria de ter umimportante carreira, mas agora é tarde demais,"ela lamenta.Rick lamenta tirando o caminho mais fácil. "Eu entrei o negócio do meu pai logo depois da faculdade.Financeiramente, não tenho nenhuma reclamação. Mas eu tenho um tempo difícil sacudir a sensação de quetornaram-se alguém especial se apenas tivesse a coragem de sair, então, nas minhas próprias costas."Lamenta como estas podem se tornar uma lembrança constante do "o que poderia ter sido". MasNão precisa ser assim. Arrependimentos também podem iluminar e ser um incentivo para novasoportunidade. Aqui está como isso pode acontecer:Conquiste suas emoções negativas. As pessoas muitas vezes imaginam que eles teriam feitocoisas de forma diferente se eles souberem melhor. No entanto, o fator decisivo na suatomada de decisão é muitas vezes um caso emocional, não uma falta de informação. Jane ainda poderia obter.seu diploma universitário, se ela não tinha medo de que o compromisso seria demais para ela.Como ela reflete sobre o passado dela, ela reconhece que sentimento oprimido foi pela mesma razãoEla saiu da escola anos atrás. Se Jane é aprender com desculpas, ela precisa lidarwith her fears in a different manner this time.Use your regrets to motivate yourself to take a different action. Rick can motivatehimself to do something different now, instead of simply regretting his long ago decision.Perhaps, he could move the business in a new direction, start a second career, or blaze acreative trail in a completely different field. Ruing your regrets is a passive approach to life;using your regrets to make a better life for yourself is a positive and active approach.Anticipate future regrets before you make major decisions. If Jane does decide toreturn to college, it would be helpful for her to anticipate what might make her regret thisdecision too. If her goal is to have a thriving career, she should choose an appropriateprogram. Simply taking the easiest courses (which would be her typical pattern) wouldlikely result in her regretting her decision once again.Use regrets to learn more about what’s important to you. Rick imagines that hemight have become a musician if he hadn’t gone into his dad’s business. But he convenientlyignores how music might play a role in his life now. Too often people assume that it’s too latein life to make any changes. Not true, unless you get entrenched in the position that: itshould have been a certain way then so there’s nothing you can do about it now.Many people regret decisions they’ve made or opportunities they’ve lost. But only a fewmake those ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas’ work for them. You can be one of those people! It’snever too late to use your regrets as a catalyst for revamping your life.“Make your ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas’ work ffor them. You can be one of those people! It’snever too late to use your regrets as a catalyst for revamping your life.“Make your ‘woulda, coulda, shouldas’ work for you.”Copyright 2006: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who specializes in helping individuals, families and couples overcome self-defeating patterns of behaviorc. The author posts new texts every( ) week.( ) month.d. The author writes texts to( ) teenagers only.( ) people in generalan article.( ) a letter of advice